is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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