Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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