By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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