If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
