she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
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Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I can't turn off my feet"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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