i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize