Yo dont text me then not text me
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
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This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
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For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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