Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
