you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
