She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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