he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
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I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
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Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize