girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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