You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize