dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
