How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm sobbing to NWA
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
