Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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