if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
