Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
