ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
