did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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