dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
