i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
