well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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