have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
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Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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