just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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