The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
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Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
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I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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