8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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