walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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