oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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