If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
