I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
