margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
