think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
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Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
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One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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