I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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