forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
