Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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