There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
