tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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