I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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