Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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