I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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