Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Randomize
