Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
