We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
