Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think my moral compass just broke
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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