I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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