The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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