you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
