i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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