It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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