Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
