At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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