therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
