So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
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I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize