We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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