i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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