I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
